For Some Reason, I'm Scared
by NightRiddler12
Summary: First in the 'For Some Reason' series! Takes place during episode 51 or Season 2, ep 25 (anime) and somewhat follows with the manga for dialog purposes. Allen starts reflecting on his feelings towards his Master, General Cross. Boring summary, I know ;P Some Lavi/Allen (but can be interpreted as friendship only) and maybe Cross/Allen if you willingly look at it that way (can ignore


_Ah, missed the posting date by... 3 hours ago XD Two hours ago it was my 18th birthday, and I was hoping to post this up by then..._

_Okay, so...I'm fucking pumped for this XD Ohmygod... episode 51 (I believe) or Season 2 ep 25 (Set Sail, To The East) is the reason behind this completely impulse decision. There were so many inspirational factors behind this and the others to come, but the main reason was the ending credits. Wait, what? XD You heard me. I was perfectly fine until I watched the ending credits for that. The song was Antoinette Blue for those of you who forget, and the scene that got to me was at the very last line of lyrics (which will be at the bottom of the oneshot) showing Allen and Timcanpy._

_I...threw a heck of a fit. I actually think I spilled my soda on my notebook and lost a pencil ^^* But I can't tell you how pumped I am for your guy's reaction on this. I had such a sudden story breakdown that I decided to make this a series of two, maybe three oneshots. Yep, just based on the last line of lyrics to that song, watching that very last scene of the ending credits, and later on watching one of the later episodes..._

_...I'm definitely crazy, aren't I? XD Anyways, point is, I'm putting my heart and soul into these few oneshots (I'm seriously not even kidding will you all; joking aside). My _best work_ is _literally _in these few oneshots, which will be titled 'For Some Reason' with something at the ending, for example this one has 'I'm Scared', then I will put the full title for it on the actual oneshot. Makes sense?_

**Pairing(s):** _Well...no, none XD I mean, there's some Lavi/Allen in this, but can be overlooked as Lavi being...Lavi XD COULD count some of this as Cross/Allen if any of you are fans and wanted to. If you want to see them in a romantic sense, knock yourselves out XD_

**Inspiration:** _Antoinette Blue, ending credits scenes for last episode of Season 2, and one of the other episodes (I think ep 91 or something)._

**Disclaimer:** _I DO NOT OWN -MAN, IT'S CHARACTERS OR SETTINGS. I ALSO DO NOT OWN ANTOINETTE BLUE OR IT'S LYRICS (though I would be so fucking happy if I did; it's such a gorgeous song)_

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**For Some Reason, I'm Scared For You And For My Sanity**

**Oneshot**

**'For Some Reason' Series, 1/?**

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* * *

_I had a dream, a scary dream_

_My heart froze as I watched you leaving me_

_That warmth must still exist, so I went looking for it one more time_

* * *

_Soon, I'm finally going to be reunited with my Master, and yet... I don't know how I should feel about this._

It felt like time had stopped when Allen and the others found Lenalee running to them frantically, telling them that they figured out where General Cross was at. No one had believed her at first (or maybe it was just Allen trying to deny it), but then Timcanpy had confirmed it when he started flying around frantically. Once they found the location on the map, they wasted no time. Within a couple of hours, they managed to rent a small canoe and now they were on their way to meet General Cross.

For a majority of the group, none of them have even met General Cross, just heard rumors. Allen was pretty sure that Bookman had already met the man once, but didn't know for sure. He knew Lavi never met him. Neither did Krory. Lenalee said she briefly saw him once when she was younger, but that when she was young. Her memory could have slowly faded over time. That was something Allen wished for back when he first joined the Order.

He didn't have fond memories of his Master. Only ones that caused him great emotional pain and that had only ruined his childhood. He was forced to work different manual labor jobs and play poker to pay off the debts, leaving hardly anything for Allen to make a living on. He barely trained Allen to fight Akuma - the sole purpose of Allen leaving Mana's grave to go with him - and the couple of times he did was when Allen was literally thrown into the fight without a clue of how to activate his innocence.

This should be more than enough reason to hate the guy, and yet... He doesn't know. He feels, what? Scared? Frightened? Sad? Whatever he feels, he doesn't want to see his Master dead. He knew it wasn't for his own selfish purposes either. He just didn't want to see him dead. He was the one person that connected Allen to his past, his vulnerable self. He took Allen in, and despite what happened afterwards or what the purpose was for adopting Allen in the first place, he was still grateful towards the man. Granted, he wouldn't tell a single soul about his true feelings towards his Master. Even now, he's still in denial, looking for a reason to hate him.

That's why he's been acting a bit...off lately. Like his heart and head aren't really in the present, like it should be. Like him always having his gloves on and hood up as much as possible. It was mentioned by everyone in the group at least once at some point, and he was tired of giving the same, neutral smile. He just wanted to have a straight answer for once.

He could feel Lavi's concerned and questioning stare on him, but he didn't respond. He knew Lavi would question him about it - again - later on when they're alone. He just didn't feel like being emotional right now. After all, he had only recently told Lenalee his life story with Cross (or at least the major details), and he _really_ wasn't in the mood for sharing.

He could also feel someone else's stare...

Allen suddenly stood up, looking around to see if there was anyone else nearby.

"What's wrong?" Lenalee asked. Allen slowly shook his head, his white hair brushing his cheeks under the confinement of his hood.

"Nothing. Just got a sudden feeling, like someone was watching us. I bet it was a panda..." he mumbled the last part, trying to lighten up the mood a bit. Lenalee laughed.

"Allen, you think panda's are all over China." Allen blinked at Lenalee.

"Aren't they?" Lenalee started chuckling.

"No."

"Hey guys, there's a panda on the boat!" Lavi suddenly shouted. Bookman turned to look at Lavi. Everyone else just sighed.

"That's getting old."

"Very old," Krory said with a sigh.

"You really are an idiot," Bookman added in. Lavi frowned, but brightened a bit when Allen let out a small smile. He chose not to comment for Lavi's sake.

A little later, they ended up at the docks of the nearby town. They had explored a bit, observing the new cultural experience. Lenalee had dragged Allen to a nearby vendor to look at something. That was when Lavi noticed that Krory and Bookman had been sitting at a table next to a tea selling vendor. Lavi stormed over and glared at them both, who neither reacted to his sudden appearance.

"How can you guys just sit there sipping tea?! Come on, General Cross is at the next town over!"

"Haste makes waste, my frantic friend," Bookman calmly said, his mentor mode switching on. Lavi looked at him incredulously. "We made it this far; General Cross is just up ahead. Besides, there have been many sacrifices made so far. We should contemplate our next course of action-"

"Well, if you're tired, just say so," Lavi said as Bookman and Krory both harmoniously took slow sips of tea. This only frustrated Lavi further. They definitely weren't taking him seriously.

"He's right Lavi," Allen said as he walked back over with Lenalee. "This is too important to risk not having a plan." Lavi narrowed his eye a bit as he looked at Allen.

"Y'know Allen, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you didn't really want to find the General," Lavi pointed out. Allen looked away sheepishly.

"Well, we did come a long way. I think we should do some sightseeing while we're here," Lenalee suggested with a hopeful look in her eyes. Bookman and Krory just continued sipping their tea. Lavi and Allen looked at each other but didn't say anything.

They both set off down the street and left Krory and Bookman to their tea, looking at all of the different vendors and cultural traditions. The streets were very busy and crowded. The air was thick with different smells of food and different scented teas. It all had that touristy effect, but at the same time they were getting a good dose of China's culture.

Lenalee walked around on Lavi's right while Allen on Lavi's left. Allen and Lavi were walking closer than what was expected from others, but was excused. Lavi and Allen were always so close to each other, so it was natural for them.

"It definitely is a lively place," commented Allen.

"That's because Guangzhou is the capital of Guangdong Province. It's a port city, making it an excellent place to get a mixture of cultures from around the world," Lavi stated, glad that he could show off a bit of his knowledge. Lenalee looked at Lavi with a small smirk.

"As to be expected from the next Bookman. You definitely are knowledgable, no doubt about that."

"Since you grew up in China, you must know a lot about it, right? Coming back to your homeland must bring back memories," Allen said, his voice still quiet as it normally has been lately, but he couldn't mask his curiosity from his voice.

"Yeah...they're vague though..." Lenalee said thoughtfully, looking down at the ground.

"Why would you say they're vague?" Lenalee looked at a merchant next to them, thinking about her answer.

"I don't really have a lot of memories about my life before the Order. I don't even remember much about my family before that time, including my brother. That's why everywhere I am, even in China..." she trailed off, looking at Allen and Lavi. She looked somewhat surprised by their concerned looks, but chuckled to cover the silence.

"No matter how I look at it, I'm seeing it for the first time." She stopped and walked over to this old lady who was selling umbrellas. She took one and opened up, admiring it.

"Hey, isn't this cute?" she asked, hoping to redirect the conversation onto something else.

"I didn't know..." Lenalee frowned and looked back down at the ground with a sad expression.

"It's just...I don't think of this as my home. I know that must sound terrible. The only place I consider my home is the Order. The people there are the closest thing I consider as family...and being with everyone, even on an assignment like this makes me happy..." she stopped, trying to stop newfound tears from flowing out, but couldn't. Though, she smiled through her tears.

"I don't think that sounds terrible," Allen softly said. It was true. He did consider the Order like his family, dysfunctional as it may seem. His parents had abandoned him, and Mana's been gone for a while. Cross, well...you know. He needed companions to help him stay stable, and the Order has done that by supporting him. He thinks of everyone there as family.

"That's right. Sticking together is the most important thing we do. That's exactly why we came across to the world to this easternmost country to find General Cross. Right Allen?" Lavi looked at Allen, hoping he'd at least give a sentimental response instead of just ranting about General Cross like he usually does. Instead, he was surprised, yet pleased, at how non-hesitant the response came.

"Exactly. Apart from my personal grudge, Master's an important person for the Order, which is why I'm looking for him with everyone right now." Allen smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes. He meant every word though. Lavi directed his attention back to Lenalee.

"No matter what, each member of the Order is a part of the team." Lenalee smiled and nodded, wiping her tears off with her sleeve.

"We should probably start heading back. The old geezer might be waiting for us, and I don't know about you guys, but I don't want to add 'being late' to the list of things he has to yell at me for," Lavi joked, though everyone knew he was actually serious.

"Sure. Ready to go Lenalee?" Lenalee nodded, but turned to the old lady, asking her how much the umbrella was.

Before they could respond, a grey cat jumped up and swallowed Timcanpy, his wings hanging out of the cat's mouth. Aside from the mental panic in Allen's head, he thought back to that night he was almost accused of being a murderer thanks to him following the cat that ate Timcanpy to what was supposedly a crime scene.

Allen wouldn't have noticed if it wasn't for all of the yellow feathers fluttering around them.

"Timcanpy!" Lavi and Lenalee turned and saw the cat. The cat saw that it gained unwanted attention, and took off.

"This isn't good! We need Timcanpy still to locate General Cross!"

"I'm sorry," Lenalee apologized to the old merchant before running off after the cat, Lavi and Allen a few steps behind.

It was hard following the cat. The streets were busy, and they were trying to keep their eyes on the cat without running into other people. They finally managed to come to a clearing, a small bridge over a clear river, and Lenalee activated her Dark Boots. She jumped and reached the cat.

Allen's cursed eye chose that time to awaken, warning Allen of six Akuma that were approaching.

"Six of them," he mumbled thoughtfully. He then activated his anti-Akuma weapon, which took shape as the usual gun. "Lavi, duck."

Lavi, who had been coughing due to the dust from Lenalee's jump, righted himself and looked towards Allen with a questioning glance. He yelped when he saw the front of Allen's anti-Akuma weapon and bent backwards, as soon as Allen started shooting.

"You crazy?!"

The shot hit the target successfully.

"Five more to go," Allen said to himself, not paying attention to Lavi's outburst and trying to keep an eye on all of the Akuma. He pointed at another one who had been hiding behind one of the walls.

"Four left." That Akuma was destroyed before the sentence finished. He hit two more, who were hiding by the entrance to a thicket of bamboo.

"Last one."

"Fire Stamp!" Lavi called out, the Akuma going up in flames. Lavi must have pulled out his Innocence sometime after Allen hit the third one.

As the last Akuma was completely destroyed, the river calmed. Lavi sighed and sat down, recovering from the sudden attack of adrenaline, leaving him worn out. Lavi's eye twitched.

"Are you _seriously trying_ to kill me?!" he screamed at the sky. He looked at Allen wide eyed, who had deactivated his innocence. "_You're even scarier than the Akuma!_" he shouted, leaving Allen dumbstruck, his voice cracking. He stood up, also putting away his Innocence.

"What did I do that was scary?" Allen genuinely asked, not getting what got Lavi so worked up over.

"Are you kidding?! You can't just say 'duck' and start shooting over people's heads like that!" Lavi said, now starting a rant.

"I was trying to keep the damage down to a minimum. Besides, I wanted to take care of it before anyone got hurt," Allen said as calmly as he could, trying to reason with Lavi. Allen knew better than to take Lavi's outburst personally. He probably gave Lavi a heart attack with that move, and it must have triggered all of the stress that was building up inside the red head. He made a mental note to not do that again.

"You didn't seem to mind if_ I_ got hurt! Come on, you almost _shot_ me!"

"Yeah, but I was being careful not to."

"Look out!" Allen and Lavi stopped and looked up to see Lenalee freefalling. Before they could move, she landed and the vibrations knocked Allen and Lavi off their feet. A huge dust cloud formed, causing Lenalee to not see them fall.

Allen landed on his back while Lavi landed on all fours above Allen. All three of them were coughing up dust until the dust cloud finally cleared away. They both blinked and looked at Lenalee, who looked at them with a hand over her mouth.

"I'm back...so what are you two doing?" she asked, somewhat oblivious to the cat's claws digging into her shoulder. The cat was shaking all over, and looked slightly sick.

That was when Lavi and Allen noticed their positions. They both looked at each other wide eyed, but Lavi responded quickly as to avoid suspicion.

"You know...just fighting some Akuma."

This also brought back a wave of nostalgia to Allen. He remembered that not only a couple of hours after first meeting Lavi, they ran into an Akuma. That was when Lavi got to show off his Innocence, but the feedback from the Akuma's attack had knocked them into the same position they were in now. Allen blinked and brought himself to the present before Lenalee or Lavi got the wrong idea.

"They were here?" she asked surprised. She didn't hear anything beforehand that gave a signal of an Akuma attack. That was when she noticed some damage to one of the walls.

"Yeah, but we took care of them," Allen replied, not letting Lavi have a chance. Otherwise Lenalee would just get a rant from Lavi about his heart attack Allen had so generously produced.

"Oh, and I found the cat," she remembered, grabbing the cat that was on her shoulder. "Good thing we found him before Tim was digested," she said cheerily.

The cat took that moment to yack up Timcanpy and jump out of Lenalee's arms to run away with a hiss. Timcanpy slowly fluttered his wings that were covered in cat slobber. Allen sighed and grabbed Timcanpy.

"You sure have been getting eaten more often lately. You should try to be careful about that," Allen said as he wiped the cat saliva off with his sleeve.

Tim did his best to look like he was sighing, which looked humorous to Lavi and Lenalee. After Tim was cleaned, he planned Timcanpy on his head, who fluttered his wings a couple of times and burrowed himself into Allen's head. Allen and Lavi stood up.

"Well, that was a waste of time; more so than I had originally thought," Bookman said, appearing suddenly and jumping on Lavi's neck and upper shoulders. Lavi looked extremely baffled.

"Hey, out of everywhere to sit, why my neck?"

"I didn't think so many Akuma would pop up in a place like this," Krory said thoughtfully, his appearance being ignored due to Bookman's sudden interest.

"Maybe Allen wasn't imagining things and something really was watching us," Lenalee thought out loud.

"So, you're saying it actually wasn't a panda that was spying on us?" Allen said, looking completely serious. Bookman moved off of Lavi to stand next to him, who stood up straighter with a groan and rubbed his neck.

"You think the Akuma were following us this whole time?" Lavi guessed.

"It's not us. It's General Cross they're after," Bookman stated, sounding like it was obvious. "It seems like we should hurry to the next town after all." Lavi's eye twitched again.

"_That's exactly what I said when you were drinking tea!_"

"Come on," he said, grabbing Lavi's hand with his and pulling him away from the group before Lavi went on yet another rant. Lavi followed with a grunt, feeling his anger and frustration of how the day went slowly disappearing.

They continued walking on like this, with no one in the group reacting to Lavi and Allen's hand holding. They probably figured Allen did it to keep Lavi from yelling at everyone. Every now and then Lavi swore he felt Bookman's stare on his back, but didn't say anything. Allen, meanwhile, let his mind wander yet again.

They were almost halfway to the town near Guangzhou, where General Cross will hopefully still be at. Allen was actually surprised Komui was able to find anything on his whereabouts. Allen was his apprentice, and even he had a hard time following his Master's trail! He had a feeling General Cross didn't want to be found because he had an interesting clue on the Earl. If he didn't want to be found, there was no way you would find him. But still...

This seemed almost too easy. He didn't voice out his opinions with his friends because he knew they would throw a fit if they heard him say that. They wouldn't agree, seeing as how they almost died a couple of times due to the Noah, Lulubell. Yet Allen felt that deep down, this way still too easy. Why didn't his Master just start disappearing again? He's been doing it pretty much the whole time since Allen's known him. Allen knew that one way to track him was to follow either the addresses on the piles of debts, or to track down his lovers/supporters and interrogate them. Out of both options, he'd rather risk with the latter. There was no way he was going near any of those debt piles.

Finally, after following Timcanpy's guidance along the trail, they came across a ledge that overlooked the city. They finally made it, and the amount of beats Timcanpy's wings produced were starting to get smaller, meaning General Cross was definitely nearby. Allen had no doubt he'd be with one of his lovers when they were finally reunited.

They followed down the trail, which lead to the heart of the city. It was just as busy as Guangzhou, maybe even a big bigger than that town.

"I guess we should split up and look for him. Even if we do, this place is still pretty big."

"There are plenty of people around, so it shouldn't be too hard with trying to find someone who know's where General Cross is," Krory said hopefully.

"I don't know, it won't be easy to find him. It's such a huge crowd," Lenalee pointed out, looking around at the people walking nearby.

"First let's find some information. Lavi and I will head in that direction," he said, pointing down towards the pier at the other end of the street.

"I'll head with Krory and we'll check out a couple of the next streets over," Lenalee said. She turned to look for Allen, but he was already gone.

"Guess he started searching."

* * *

_So stay by my side, and tell me it'll be forever_

_Until the demon's voices are drowned out_

* * *

As Allen looked around the street, he didn't recognize any of the merchants or civilians. He thought as much. It was a small hope, to see someone in this city who he might know of thanks to General Cross. However, there was no such luck.

As he passed by a bun stand, he stopped to think. He supposed he could start here. Besides, his stomach was going to start murdering him soon if he didn't grab something to eat. As he was purchasing a bun from the merchant, he felt Timcanpy dive in his pocket, looking for something. He shrugged and took a bite of the bun. Almost as quick as he flew in Allen's pocket, he flew back out, holding the drawing of General Cross for the man to see.

The man blinked for a few times, and smiled at the golem, now understanding what it was trying to say.

"Yeah, I've seen this man before. He's the red headed foreigner with a weird mask, right?" the man said slyly. At this, Allen choked, half excited and half dreading the information soon to come. Timcanpy made a nodding motion, since Allen was trying to not choke.

"If you buy ten more of those, I'll be willing to tell ya anything you want to know," he bargained. Allen harshly swallowed before nodding frantically. He knew an opportunity like this wasn't going to come by again. He had enough money, and he was hungry enough. Besides, Timcanpy looked like he wanted one. Why Allen thought that, he didn't know. Probably instinct. He'd been with the golem for so long now, it seemed natural to expect something like that from Timcanpy.

"Pleasure doing buisness with you, sir. Now for my part of the bargain." The merchant pointed towards the pier down the street. "Ya see the big building with all the lights? That's the number one spot along this pier. Popular with the sailors and the tourists. That man that you're looking for is rumored to be the new lover of the woman who owns that place," he said coyly.

At this, Allen froze, his blood running through his veins like icy daggers. His eye twitched in repulsion. He was hoping he wouldn't have to talk to any of General Cross' old lovers. Well, guess it can't be avoided now.

* * *

"So, wait, you're telling me that the guy at the bun stand told you that General Cross is the boyfriend of the lady who owns this place?" asked Lenalee. Allen's eye twitched as he glared at the sign above the door, his face somewhat more pale than usual.

"Yeah. Pretty typical of my Master though. I'm not surprised," Allen said bitterly.

Ever since his Master had hit him on the head with a hammer, knocking him unconscious, and 'abandoned' him, he's been more genuine in his actions. He's been in a better mood more often, and he's been more willing to help others when it came down to manual labor. Granted, he had his moments where he was bored constantly, doing nothing more but training or on rare occasions, reading. He had been used to doing hard labor jobs for three years, and then all of a sudden he stopped. He had originally blamed his boredom on not having as many missions as the others that were high level missions since he was the newer exorcist, but the bitter truth was that he missed being busy all the time. He truly loved relaxing, it just became an instinct to work constantly. Then when he left and joined the Order, he didn't have that option. It was harder to train because his Innocence really did a damage on the training equipment, and let's face it, the training room is more suited for Equipment Types than Parasitics. Now, he may have his work cut out for him, but it's been mostly revolved around the deaths of their family or something concerning the Generals...this one was the last straw for Allen. It had been bad enough when he went to Krory's mansion and Cross had apparently been there. And memories of Rosanne...

And now they finally found General Cross...

_We found him. Great..._

Point is, Allen wasn't looking forward to this.

Just then, as they were about to enter, someone came and stopped in front of the entrance, blocking their entrance.

"Hey, we don't allow first timers and kids here. Get lost."

The person, who was identified as a really muscular woman, picked up Allen and Lavi easily by the collars of their shirts. Allen wasn't redirected by this one bit, as he was used to people picking him up like this constantly, due to his Master piling up debts with the wrong kind of people. Lavi, however, wasn't faring too well. He was currently busy yelling at the woman to please spare his life.

"Sorry if this seems a little rude, but my Master has been waiting for you for some time now." Allen blinked while the woman continued to ignore Lavi.

"I have orders to take you straight to her. You can go through the back entrance that leads to her. You see, we are both supporters of the Black Order," she smirked, sticking her tongue out. Lavi stopped when he saw the tattoo of the cross on her tongue.

Much to their pleasure, she both lowered them back to the ground. As Allen straightened his clothes, Lavi ran towards the door, not wanting to make the woman angry. Allen sighed and followed Lavi, the others in the group trailing behind him along with the woman.

The followed her through the door, which led to a staircase, the rails lined with different small paper lanterns. As they walked up the staircase, Allen being in the front, he noticed that both Lavi and the woman leading them kept glancing at him every now and then. He was used to Lavi's stare, figuring that he was trying to figure Allen out right now. The woman's stare, however, was questioning, as if she didn't believe that who she was seeing was General Cross' apprentice. Allen nearly smiled out of spite.

_Looks can be quite deceiving..._

When they reached the top of the staircase, they entered a fancily decorated room with a sweet smelling fragrance. A woman was kneeling on the floor, who gave an air of elegance and beauty. She wore a pink kimono with flowery designs. Her black hair was long and sleek, and was somewhat covered by a purple headdress. The headdress had a big pink carnation on it's front, with light purple tassels hanging off of it's side.

"Welcome, Exorcists," she greeted, her voice calm and smooth. "My name is Anita, and I'm the owner of this establishment. It's an honor to have you here," she said with a professional, yet friendly tone.

Everyone blushed at the end of her introduction, their eyes wide at her appearance. What surprised Allen was how she could act so professional and yet seem so elegant. Then, Allen thought back to what the merchant had said.

_Yeah, she seems like Master's type all right._

Everyone ignored Lavi's outburst, and Allen connected his eyes to Anita's. Despite her cheerful and worry free appearance, her eyes spoke of a different story. She seemed like someone who had just lost someone important to her. That somewhat made Allen reel back for a moment. Hardly any of Cross' lovers truly loved him or felt attachment in any way. They either were one night stands, used as payment for supporting the Black Order and their efforts, or end up brokenhearted in the end. Seemed like Anita wasn't any different. Though, her brokenhearted state wasn't that towards anger at abandonment or cheating or from keeping secrets. This one was of sorrow and of great loss. This was different, and Allen wanted to find out just what it was about this woman that made her different from the others.

"I don't know how to say this, so I'll get right to the point. If you're looking for General Cross, then I'm sorry to say that he's no longer here," she said, her face neutral except for the small frown and sorrowful eyes. Everyone except Allen gaped at Anita. Allen looked at the ground. His face hid his expression thanks to his silvery locks covering his face. He eagerly took in what she had to say next, blocking out everyone else in the room, both from sight and sound, except for her.

"He left some time ago on a ship. The ship that he was on..." she closed her eyes tight and lowered her head, her voice starting to strain, "was attacked and sank to the bottom of the ocean."

Allen lifted his head and looked at her wide eyed. The others following the same motions, except for Bookman who looked neutral as ever. Timcanpy, who had been sitting on Allen's head, fluttered his wings a couple of times, giving that a look of nervousness. Allen thought it was kind of ironic. He could tell how Timcanpy was feeling but couldn't find his Master, whom he had traveled with all over for three years.

"What did you just say?" Lenalee asked, completely shocked, which showed through in her voice. Anita took a breath.

"I said that the ship that Cross left on was attacked. The ship sank eight days ago, and the attack left no survivors."

That was when Allen lowered his face back down to the ground, his hair covering his face and masking his expression again. He narrowed his eyes in thought.

"Do you have any evidence to support that claim?" Bookman wasted no time in asking.

"The ship that had received the distress signal had attempted to rescue them. They found no ship or people, instead finding strange looking carcasses and a poisoned sea," she explained. Allen could tell it was somewhat difficult for her.

_This isn't right_, he thought without hesitation. His Master wasn't one to fall easily. Strange looking carcasses? A poisoned sea? Could be Akuma related business. This sounded eerily familiar with what happened, back when they had still been traveling together. Except, Cross managed to save the ship and it's inhabitants. The sea had still been littered with the Akuma corpses and the sea was dyed different shades of purple and red due to all of the Akuma blood. But still...

He doesn't go down easily. In fact, the whole time Allen traveled with his Master, he had never seen the man injured once. Based on what Anita just explained, it would be too simple. He probably changed the course of his path...

"Where was the ship headed?"

Everyone looked at him, Anita sparing him a sympathetic glance. Lavi and Bookman looked at him curiously, while Krory looked confused at Allen's question. Lenalee looked at him, like one would at their best friend who had lost their entire world. Allen nearly scoffed at that, the more recent news of events stopping him and keeping him on subject.

When he had asked the question, his voice was neutral and firm, commanding. He _needed_ answers. First, he had to find out everything he could on what Anita already knows about his Master's next destination. Then, he needed to determine how Cross' most recent lover is handling everything. Then, and only then, could he lead everyone to General Cross. He had to get everyone to see his viewpoint, and he was going to confront Lavi on this. Lavi craved information, and he hadn't told Lavi of the things he told Lenalee. He knew just as much, if not a tad bit more, than the rest of the group. Lavi would get curious at one point, and would come directly to him.

He knew it was harsh and cold, thinking as Lavi as some dog eventually coming to his master, or as some lab rat. At this point, he didn't want to talk to anyone about anything regarding his past with Cross willingly. All Lavi needed to do was ask, when everyone else was dead asleep. Then, and only then, will he be willing to share everything he knows about the man. But first he had to calm everyone's nerves and figure out where to go next.

"What was the destination of the ship he was on?" Allen repeated, this time with more stress. Anika stood up, her face looking conflicted.

"The others would have died during the attack, but not him," he said, completely stern and honest with his admission, "My Master would never go down from such a small thing." Oh, the bitterness was overwhelming. He said that, in hopes of coaxing answers from Anita.

Anita's grip on her emotions finally cracked. She let a few tears leak through, her blue eyeliner somewhat smearing. Her eyes finally showed a bit of hope. Allen lifted his face and stared deep into her eyes.

"Do...do you really think so?"

The others waited, watching Allen. It would have somewhat unnerved him, but he just had to get Anita to see. He wouldn't die so easily. The most he's ever seen that man get injured is a small scratch on his chest, barely bleeding from a strong Akuma's bladed attack. He only got scratched like that just to show Allen that even he was not invincible, and that he still had to keep his guard up even as a General.

Finally, she seemed satisfied and extremely relieved. She turned towards the woman who had lead them to her room.

"Mahoja, prepare my ship. We will leave shortly." The woman, now identified as Mahoja, bowed and left the room. She turned towards back to the group, stopping Lenalee's protest.

"For many years, back from my mother's time up until now, I have supported the Black Order in anyway I could. If you're going to keep searching for Cross, then please let us be your guide."

_So she does know where my Master's going._

"We will be heading towards Japan, and the very same city that Cross wanted to reach. The city of Edo," she said with determination.

That made Allen still slightly.

_Edo...great, just what I needed. You better be there when we arrive at Edo, Master._

Yes, he had been to Edo before with his Master once, but it wasn't something he liked to relive. In fact, no one knows what happened between him and Cross at Edo except for the two of them, and Allen wants it to stay that way.

As they left towards the ship leaving Anita to change into proper clothes, they sat along the pier, keeping their thoughts to themselves. It took an hour before they saw a bunch of sailors come out from the place Anita owned. They stood up and walked over to the group.

Allen walked up to the smirking blonde male, Lavi and the others waiting a couple of paces back.

"I was wondering if you could help me find someone named Yang."

"You just found him," the guy said in a gruff voice. It reminded Allen vaguely of Kanda, along with the attitude the both of them seemed to hold. "You guys are the Exorcists, right?"

"Yes. My name is Allen Walker. Anita told us that you're going to be the captain of the ship we're going to be traveling on. We wanted to thank you for your trouble."

"Thank me?" Yang said, looking amused. "I'm not doing any of you favors. Just following the orders that Anita gives us. There's no reason or need for you to thank us." Allen's eyes narrowed at the guys attitude. Looks like he was wrong. Kanda has more manners than this guy, and this wasn't something Allen felt like dealing with. He just wanted to hurry up and get going that way he can wallow in his unfortunate luck.

"Still, this is going to be a difficult voyage. Eight days ago, the ship that my Master was on sunk to the bottom of the sea due to an attack from a group of Akuma. We wanted to say that we appreciate you putting yourselves in harms way for us."

"Yeah, well with Anita on board, the sea and the creatures residing in it are the least of our worries."

"What?"

"You see kid, she's the type of person that will say something to you to get you to do what she wants you to do, regardless if you really wanted to do it or not. If she wanted to set sail in this dangerous storm, there's nothing we could say to change her mind. Just don't worry about us, our job is protecting Anita and that's what we're going to do." Yang gained a mischievous look as he looked down at a somewhat glaring Allen. "But _you_ are a different story. Just try to stay out of our way and to not burden us."

"That won't be a problem," Allen tensely said, not enjoying being around this guy. He could hear Lavi and Krory somewhat shuffling at the awkwardness and tension of the situation. "We're perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves. Without us on board, you guys wouldn't last a minute."

"What'd you say?"

"We are Exorcists, and our job is to fight on the front lines and battle the Akuma we encounter to save the innocent. If we can't protect you guys or ourselves, then we don't deserve to be called Exorcists." Yang scoffed and glared at Allen.

"You really think you can protect us? Just look at your arm," he pointed out as he lifted Allen's Innocence bearing arm. Allen tensed, not liking when someone other than the four specific people in his life touched his arm. "With an arm like this, you wouldn't last a minute," he taunted.

"It's all I need to keep you alive!" Allen yanked his arm back, glaring fiercely at Yang.

"I don't buy it. I think your bark is worse than your bite." Yang called out to one of his fellow crew members, who went and fetched two boxes. He threw them in front of Allen and Yang, both stacked on top of one another. Yang kneeled and rested an arm on top of the boxes, flexing his hand.

"If you're so sure that you can keep us alive I need to see how much muscle you have on ya." Allen looked at Yang's arm thoughtfully, his glare not dropping.

"Guess I don't have much of a choice."

"Hey, since when did it come down to arm wrestling?" Lavi asked, somewhat panicked. Allen sighed. Looks like Lavi tends to underestimate him too. How disappointing.

"What happens to us if you lose? They could turn us into their slaves-"

"You don't want us to be pushed around and whipped, do you?"

Krory and Lavi shuttered as Allen moved to copy Yang's position, using his left arm for this.

_Oh well. This should end fast. It's not like Yang knows about my arm_, Allen though coyly. They both locked hands and struggled to push the other's arm down first. Lavi and Krory leaned forward in anticipation, not wanting to get too close to Allen in case if he broke his concentration and lost.

Allen locked his gaze onto Yang's, trying to intimidate him and make Yang lose. It was a subconscious move. He used to do it all the time when he was still under Cross' wing. He always had to cheat to get enough money, but that doesn't mean that Allen didn't gain some strength in his arm as time passed.

"Damn kid, you're pretty strong for someone with a small arm," Yang strained. Allen said nothing, still continuing to look into Yang's eyes. It all leads down to intimidation.

"Come on Allen!" Lavi encouraged.

"Please don't lose Allen! I don't want to be whipped and pushed around like a slave, I have soft skin." At this, Lavi looked at Krory with a deadpanned look, which caused Krory to smile sheepishly. Allen would have normally rolled his eyes at that.

They tugged around for a few moments, before Allen decided that he was getting annoyed and enough was enough. He finally pinned down Yang's arm on the box hard with a frustrated yell. When it was clear that Allen won, the crew looked completely baffled at the sweaty and panting leader. They started whispering to each other, saying that the captain never loses and that it was impossible. Allen sneered. _Not impossible enough._

"Way to go Allen!"

"Excellent work Allen! I'm so relieved," a smiling Krory breathed out. As he said his congratulations, he shook Allen with his hands on his shoulders. Allen couldn't help but break his gaze with Yang and smiled at Krory, only slightly sore. Looks like he was out of practice.

"Damn it. I want a rematch." Allen was more than eager for another one. However, he didn't get his chance.

"How about I take on the winner," said Mahoja, walking out with Anita and Lenalee following. They had just exited the building and managed to see the last part of the arm wrestling match. Allen let out a challenging grip and mentally prepared himself, for he knew Mahoja was no quitter and wasn't soft muscled.

They clasped hands, and right away they put everything they had into it. Allen hissed when he saw that he had his work cut out for him this round.

"So, what are you doing here?" Allen asked through clenched teeth.

"I came to accompany you on your voyage. I will follow my Master anywhere and protect her, should she need it," Mahoja said determinedly, in the same state as Allen.

This made Allen stunned, but didn't let that or his wandering mind affect his performance. At first, he found it outrageous that Mahoja was that dedicated to Anita. The he realized something. That was what they were supposed to do. Besides, Mahoja cared for Anita, even when it wasn't needed or wanted. It was similar with him and Cross. Even though he despised his Master, he found that he was still finding that need to protect him, no matter how dire or how little the situation was. That was his true job. Other than to train and learn from his Master to be an Exorcist, he was supposed to protect his Master and follow them loyally at all times. Though, it was hard to do that from the beginning for multiple reasons.

Right when the crowd was going to find out who the winner would be, Allen's eye widened when it transformed into the typical black and red ringed state. A herd of Akuma was nearby. A bunch of Level One's and a Level Two. That broke Allen's concentration, and Mahoja pinned Allen's arm to the box. Though, both of them know why it ended, and it made Mahoja step back more towards Anita.

"What happened?" Lenalee asked confused.

"Oh crap!" Lavi started to panic again, though not as bad as Krory.

"Don't whip me!" Krory cried.

The group was completely oblivious to Allen's eye transforming. Allen stilled to calculate how far away the Akuma were, before standing up and telling everyone to duck. This painfully reminded of the red-headed Exorcist of what happened earlier on the bridge with the six Akuma. Allen started shooting at the Level Two Akuma, who had a frog like state with holes around it's body. It started hopping towards Allen. It dove for Anita, but Lenalee activated her Innocence in time and jumped up with Anita. As the frog-like Akuma landed, it chuckled and hopped away with Allen on it's tail.

Once it got far away enough, the swarm of Level One Akuma revealed themselves and shot out from the water. That's when Krory and Lavi decided to activate their Innocence and jump in to help Allen.

"Those are...Akuma? They actually exist?" asked Yang.

"Please, just stay back and find somewhere to hide. We won't let them get anywhere close to you," Allen said as he started shooting towards both the Level Two and a couple of Level Ones that were near it. Lenalee landed, dispatching Anita off by Mahoja and jumped in to fight with her fellow Exorcist teammates.

"I guess it was a good try, but we won't let you go past this point, Exorcists! This is the end of the line," the Akuma laughed gleefully.

"Never underestimate an Exorcist. If we want to cross the ocean, we won't let you stand in our way!" Allen shot out a pillar of golden glowing rods, signalling the start of the silent fight. Somewhere, Bookman had made his entrance and pitched in.

Instead of hiding, the crew observed the fight and watched in awe at their first Akuma-Exorcist encounter.

"Not bad. So these are Exorcists," Yang added, impressed at their display.

"If I had any doubts of him being Cross' apprentice, they're gone. He _is_ Allen Walker." As she watched Allen and the Level Two fight, she recognized the fighting style that Allen carried.

Allen knew this as well. If anyone who initially saw General Cross fight first and then watched as Allen fight, they would definitely ask if Allen was trained by General Cross. They both held an air of superiority as they fought. They didn't let anything get the best of them, and always kept on fighting and used as much of their skills and battle tactics as they could in order to gain the upper hand without wasting energy. As Allen sliced through the Level Two with his clawed hand, it exploded. The fight was over.

"I gotta admit, I'm impressed," Yang said as he walked over to Allen. Allen and the others deactivated their Innocence.

"You just saved everyone's lives, as promised. I didn't think it was possible." Allen smiled, pleased.

"Thank you, Yang."

"This journey will be dangerous, but with you and your friends on board, I think we'll manage just fine," he said as he held out his hand. Allen stared at it for a moment before he returned the gesture.

"I hope you're right."

They noticed then that the sun had risen, and that they missed yet another night's rest. Allen and Yang let go before Yang motioned back to Anita's business behind them.

"We have to restock and grab our things before departing. Mind helping us out?" he raised an eyebrow challengingly at Allen. Allen smirked.

"Sure thing."

They all left, ignoring Lavi and Krory's cries of protesting. The docks were soon filled with the crew members scrambling around to get everything on the ship. Allen turned out to be a great help. Lavi and Krory, not so much.

"I definitely feel like a slave now...I thought we got out of being slaves," Krory mumbled depressed. Lavi sighed and grunted when he felt the box on his back slipping somewhat. He righted himself and kept moving.

"Well, look on the bright side. At least we aren't getting whipped," Lavi pointed out oh-so-helpfully. Krory weakly glared at Lavi, but dropped it as they both stopped and stared at Allen. Allen walked right past them, almost jogging, to help out some crew member lift up another box. Lavi and Krory looked at each other and sighed before dropping their boxes at the right spot and continued.

By the time it was all said and done, the crew had let Allen finish early. Allen thanked them and left to go stand on top of the crow's nest, looking out at the horizon. Lavi and the others stood back a ways. Lavi kept looking at Allen, trying to figure out what to say to him when he got the chance.

Allen really took this time to ponder on settling any doubts he had, which had formed when he originally saw Anita's reaction to his determination.

_"Do...do you really think so?"_

_"We will be heading towards Japan, and the very same city that Cross wanted to reach. The city of Edo."_

"I really didn't want to go to that country if it could be avoided," Allen said as bitterly and conflicted as he could, his mind reeling and coming to terms with a sudden realization of what this could mean. Lavi, who was able to see Allen, couldn't hear him, but could very well read his lips. He sat down near the railing of the ship, watching Allen mumble to himself. Thanks to his good eyesight, he was able to read Allen's lips quite well.

"Stupid Master... If I get there and you're dead, I'll _never forgive you_."

A sudden memory flashed against his will. His Master leaning over him with a larger Timcanpy sitting on his head. Asking him if he wanted to become an Exorcist and telling him about his arm. His arm still activated after killing Mana and his hair matted, what was once brown now a bright white. His eye now bearing the scar, still somewhat bloody from it's creation. He had felt lost and helpless, and he was given a second chance. Someone else willing to give him another chance at life, despite Allen's appearances and history. Allen leaning on Mana's grave. _Hope..._

The all flashed together at random, creating one big blur of emotions. A sense of dread, grief and desperation attacked and ate away at Allen heavily. He suddenly wanted to get to his Master as soon as possible...before it was too late.

Allen shook his head weakly and threw those thoughts away.

"I have to stop, I shouldn't think like that. Master will be just fine."

As Anita gave the command to set sail, Allen's hair flew around wildly at the slow changing pace of the wind. He leaned his head back and allowed himself to soak in the heat's warmth, trying to relax himself. They may be memories tainted with hatred and grief that was put on hold, but they were still memories he was proud to have. At least he was still alive, and wasn't homeless or dead, without someone to truly appreciate him or love him. Despite his Master piling his troubles - his debts - on Allen as a kid, he knew that deep down he still cared about his Master.

He thought he was surprised at Mahoja's commitment to Anita because of the differences in loyalty they had for their Masters. He couldn't be anymore wrong. Yes, he still despised the guy, but he now cared for the man as well. It was all so confusing and was starting to give him a headache. As Timcanpy kept up with the ships pace and flew next to Allen, he looked down and was surprised to meet Lavi's gaze.

Looks like he'll definitely be talking to Lavi about this later. He looked back to the horizon, a new found hope rising. Almost every time he made a new friend that actually cared about him, they passed away -_ Narain, Devin_ - or they turned their back on him - _a few of his 'childhood friends' back before he met Mana_ -. Somehow he didn't think that his Master hated him. Who knows though. Only time will tell. They will meet again. This time though, he'll have Lavi will him, and his friends supporting him as well.

Even if his memories are tainted or only contain agony, they're still precious to him and hold special meaning. Everything happened for a reason, and every bad thing supposedly had a silver lining at the end. He just has to make sure he doesn't lose his sanity or his Master first...

* * *

___I quietly check so that I don't lose you_

_Even if my precious memories become mistakes, they're beautiful for some reason..._

* * *

_By the way, I tried so hard to get up to 10 k words D: So close, too! Don't worry though, I'll definitely hit over the 15 K bar for the next one (which may take a while) XD hafygsbd aahh! Time for another fan freak-out! Wish me luck! The next one in the 'For Some Reason,...' series will be titled "For Some Reason, I Cared", actually titled, "For Some Reason, I Cared And Knew All Along'. I might change the last part on it, kinda doesn't flow with the ending I have planned for that one. Oh well. XD_

**PLEASE REVIEW FOR THIS! I WANT AT LEAST 10 REVIEWS BEFORE I ADD THE NEXT ONE!** **I hope you guys understand. I just dont want my work to be wasted, and I don't want simple 'I love it' or 'please add the other' reviews, I want honest, encouraging reviews. I put all of my effort and even skipped a couple of nights of sleep planning these oneshots out, so I hope you can understand why. Besides, I don't ask of this with any of my other stuff and never will. I just want it with these few oneshots.**

_- NightRiddle_


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